Missionary?

"So what will you be doing in Dallas?  Do you have a job yet?"

I find myself awkwardly fumbling for a response, not really sure how to explain myself.

Can I say that I'm a missionary?  Is that appropriate to what I'll be doing?

I hesitate to claim the title 'missionary' as images from End of the Spear come to mind and I think of people in primitive or rustic places, literally sacrificing their lives to make God known.  Dallas isn't exactly primitive with its skyscrapers and multilayered highway system, nor is my three-bedroom apartment with dishwasher and walk-in closets rustic, so I would hate to presume the label when I know others have given so much more than anything I am doing.

"I'm hoping to get involved in ministry."

She stares back confused, clearly questioning my plan and wondering if "hopes" will pay rent.
"Oh, okay."  She's not sure what to say, so I try to save the faltering conversation.

"I will be working for my friend's dad to pay the bills, but that's not really the focus of what I'll be doing in Dallas."

"Oh, okay," she responds, this time with understanding.  "So what is the job?"

She does not understand.  I explain the job, and hope that by the next time the question is asked, I will have a concrete ministry to talk about.

---------------

Thomas Hale defines being a missionary as "one who is to witness across cultures."  Given this understanding, I think I can say I am a missionary.  Dallas, and in particular Oak Cliff (my neighborhood, AKA Little Mexico), is most definitely a different culture from the small-town Midwest I've grown up in.  Or perhaps the move is more comparable to going from Wheaton to the south side of Chicago, for those of you familiar with that geography.  Witnessing is also a large part of what I'm doing.  We just met our upstairs neighbors, and may now be nannying their children four days out of the week.  I've been attending Mercy Street, an after-school program for kids in the area.  And through church and other organizations, I am working to make known the glory of God.

I currently find myself working under the 'tentmaking' philosophy of missions, and thus think of myself less as a computer draftsman and more as a missionary.  If anybody reading this is a missionary and finds offense at this or thinks me bold to suggest my lifestyle in Dallas as missional, then I apologize.  This is me just trying to find the short-version response to "What do you do?"

And for anyone still curious about what I'm actually doing, but now too afraid to ask, please don't hesitate to call or email me.  Perhaps the post below will also help clarify things.

Pictures soon to come!

The Dallas Project

A seven month lease guarantees (caveat: James 4:13-15) that amount of time in Dallas, and thus I begin what I affectionately call, The Dallas Project.

What does it entail?
- Read the Bible in its entirety
- Pray for every country in the world
- Be involved in the local church
- Spend time outside of my typical context

- Make sacrifices to be able to give more generously*

- Live in a community of believers who are also participating in some or all parts of the Dallas Project

How does this happen?
- I am getting involved in LifePoint church.  I love their mission statement and hope to adopt it as my own: "Love God. Love people. Serve the city."
- I am getting involved in local ministries.
     - Mercy Street: an after school program once a week where we hang out (read: go completely crazy) for awhile, then we sing some songs, and then break into age groups for a lesson and craft.  So far I've gone with the youngest ones (1st-3rd grade) and they are hilarious.  My favorite quote from last week: "The opposite of kindness is a girl."  Sorry fellas ;)
     - Buckner International: I haven't actually done anything here because their volunteer coordinator is out of town this week, but it looks like an awesome organization.  They are a global ministry that strives to make life better for orphans and vulnerable children.  They combine my love of youth ministry and missions (and even have a camp!) so I am eager to find a way to get involved.
- I am working to get to know other people and families in the area and apartment complex.
- I am supporting myself as a computer draftsman for Spitze Graphics.  Spitze Graphics helps people apply for patents.  Working in AutoCAD, I will be cleaning up technical drawings and making them fit for the patent office.
- I'm living with four other wonderful girls who have warmly welcomed me into their apartment.

I say all of these things as though I am somehow responsible for them happening, but really this has been quite the journey of God opening up doors for me to come to Dallas and get connected.  He has put several books in my hands (Life Together by Bonhoeffer, Radical by Platt, Don't Waste Your Life by Piper) that have filled my head and heart with these ideas about how to live.  And most of all God has allowed me to grow up in a context where it is easy to know Him and feel His love.  It doesn't seem possible that I can take responsibility for too much of what has happened this first week in Dallas, nor the rest of my life prior.

Praise God for how well this transition has gone thus far and please pray that I can continue to find where God wants me to get involved here in Dallas.

*the first five pieces of the Dallas project are more or less David Platt's "Radical Challenge" from his book Radical.

Forgiven

"Repentence is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven.  It serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an effort to earn forgiveness."

- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

The Final Stretch

I have just concluded my last "off" weekend this summer.  Our final two week team arrived yesterday and when they leave we will have a brief six hour break before the final group arrives for just one week.  It is absurd to believe that eight and a half weeks have already passed and in another three and a half I'll be home (what?!).

This last outreach went well.  God took some time to teach me about patience.  One day the kids were just really misbehaving and not putting forth the effort I know they are capable of.  As I was getting frustrated, I realized God must feel this way all the time as He watches us fail to do what we know is right or as He has to teach us the same lessons again and again.  And despite all of my frustrations I truly love these kids and want the best for them - so how much more must God love us!  I am special to God in the same way these kids are special to me, and I mean that in both senses of the word "special."

"The challenge to grow and the grace to fail" is a quote I read this week by Judson Morgan describing the theater I was a part of at school.  I think it pleases God to put us in circumstances where we feel "the challenge to grow and the grace to fail."  God has done that for me here in the DR as I am pushed to learn more, yet surrounded by a wonderful, supportive community.

I also got to practice patience as Taúmi did not want to follow instructions one day; she was more interested in playing in the swing.  I held her as she continued to scream, cry, and squirm in attempts to get to the swing.  She made herself so upset that she even threw up a little.  However, God is good and rewards us as we stick it out through some of these difficult situations.  Taúmi is learning to follow directions and that she can't just do everything her own way.  Her tantrums are getting shorter each time and she is becoming a more willing participant.  Praise God for the work He is doing in these kids lives.

On a lighter note, one of the kids, Daniel, was playing dead on the porch where we were all eating lunch.  So Angelica, another little girl, ran over to give him "CPR" and was pressing on his stomach.  On one of the repetitions, she managed to squeeze a fart out of him!  Sorry for the crude humor, but it was one of the most hilarious things that has happened at school!  All of us teachers were practically rolling on the ground we were laughing so hard.

"But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him." - 2 Samuel 14:14

Fotos

The kids in my class, followed by a few other photos:

 Alfry

 Evelyn

 

 

Mildred

 

 

 Taúmi

 

 

 Yensey

(he's not always this sweaty and concerned looking; this is just the only picture I could find of him)

 

 

 Remember Meri, my host mom from the fall?

 

 

 Waiting with Taúmi for her mom to come pick her up at the end of the day

 

 

 Taking a siesta after a good, long day :)

 

 

 Snorkeling during our off weekend

Faith Journey

My roommate from last fall just sent me this quote.  As I ponder "what's next" (and I know I'm not alone in this inquiry), I thought it seemed particularly applicable:

"Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led.  But it does mean loving and knowing the one who is leading.  It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason - a life of knowing Him who call us to go.  Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a person and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world."

- Oswald Chambers

Answered Prayer

Sometimes when we pray God says, "yes"
Sometimes when we pray God says, "wait"
And sometimes God says, "no," but it's only because He loves us
But God always answers our prayers
- A song we sing in the preschool classroom :)

Looking back over my various prayer requests, I am blown away to see they way God has really answered them.

Before the last outreach, I asked for your prayers that I would not fall into the rut of routine and that I could continue to find newness in everyday.  It was a wonderful outreach and this truly seemed to happen.  The things that were old had new life to them and somehow I ended up on a number of new adventures.  For example, we were in town buying some groceries when suddenly our car was needed to pick up a group of students.  Since there would not be enough room in the car for all of us, I hung out at the ice cream shop in hopes that they would someday return.  I really enjoyed having my own little solo adventure and having the chance to slow down and people-watch for a little bit.  Another day, a teacher at SI's preschool in Los Higos was sick, so based on my experience there last fall, I was elected to go fill in for the day.  It was a ton of fun to get back to Los Higos and see a bunch of people, have lunch with my Mamá again, and to try something different.  It seemed like these sorts of things were happening all outreach.

I also asked for you all to pray for Génesis, a new student in my classroom who was having a difficult time adjusting.  She is doing so well now!  She no longer cries throughout the day and is participating more and more in class.  What a darling Génesis is and it is cool to see her gain increasing mobility with a walker.  As she gets older and gains a little more balance and coordination, she will likely be able to walk without assistance.

In case I hadn't mentioned it, Angie, the lead teacher in my classroom, did in fact get her visa and is in Utah now for an English immersion program.  Lordis and I have taken charge of the class and have learned well how to work together and keep track of all our little munchkins.  In addition to Angie making it to the States, all of our teams have made it back and forth from the DR with no major issues.

Praise God for all of the amazing things He has done and for answering so many prayers.  God has been so good throughout the first three outreaches and I know He will continue to be faithful through the last three.  Please continue praying with me as I am considering coming on full-time staff with Students International and waiting for God's response.

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart" - Psalm 86:11