Forgiveness

On Maundy Thursday, I had the privilege of partaking in a foot-washing.  The day began with me deciding to participate in another event that involved me walking around barefoot all day.  In the course of walking to classes, my feet had gotten pretty dirty by the time I arrived at the foot-washing service.  Whenever I have had my feet washed before, they have always been relatively clean.  However this time, I had the humbling task of presenting my dirty, disgusting, embarrassing feet to be handled by the unsuspecting man who led me to the wash basin.  Without a hint of remorse at having chosen me and my dirty feet to wash, he carefully and meticulously cared for my feet and made me clean again.  Afterwards, I was delighting in how clean and soft my feet were, how they still smelled like the soap, and how they seemed to be in perfect condition.  Excitedly I wondered if I could stay this way forever.    But suddenly it struck me that my shoes were out in my car and I would have to cross the parking lot with my newly cleaned feet.  I began trying to think up any and every way, whatever the cost, to get to my car without dirtying my feet again.  I was considering asking somebody to carry me out to the car; trying to figure out a way to wear my coat on my feet while maintaining the ability to walk, or even wondering if I had the necessary skills to walk across the parking lot on my hands.  I was willing to look foolish if I could just stay in that clean condition.

I wonder, if we truly understood the weight and depth of forgiveness, if we would be so quick to fall back into our old habits.  If I truly understood the extent to which God has forgiven me, would I be so quick to continue in my patterns of life that are harmful or destructive and build no one up?

I believe there are two primary problems.  First, we don't recognize how bad we truly are, how dirty our feet are.  I like to think of myself as a good person, but the more I realize how great God is and how little I give Him my full praise, thanks, and the glory that is due to Him, I begin to see more clearly the mud between my toes.  The second issue at stake is that we don't realize how clean we have been made in Christ.  When my feet were made perfect, I had this desire to keep them in that condition for as long as possible.  If we were aware that in forgiveness God removes our sins from us "as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12), we might work harder to not wander back to that place of sin.

In forgiveness, I ought to be so impressed with how new God has made me, that I begin to examine every aspect of my life, on guard against the things that will make me dirty again so that I might avoid them.

As Pastor David Choi once said, "Cheer up, you're not as bad as you think you are, you're worse."  Now rejoice and delight in how God in Christ through the Spirit has made you a new creation, separate from your sins - and with His help, you could stay this clean forever.

..."Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared.  "Go now and leave your life of sin." - John 8:11